My 4-year-old is batshit about Star Wars now and won't stop asking me questions about it. Only the questions make no fucking sense, so I can't answer them.2. This can't be mentioned enough: U.S. senators, representatives and congressional staffers are permitted to engage in insider trading.
HER: Does Star Wars live in outer space?
ME: It's not a person. It's a movie. And it takes place in outer space.
HER: Why?
ME: Because outer space is way cool.
HER: Does Star Wars live in outer space?
ME: I JUST FUCKING ANSWERED THAT! EAT YOUR PRETZELS!
3. "He was a square-jawed Canadian Air Force officer with a brilliant future, a man entrusted with flying prime ministers and Queen Elizabeth II. On Monday, he was exposed as a serial killer with a shocking fetish for girls' panties that he documented in a trove of twisted photos of himself."
*Buy Star Wars sketch cards at eBay.
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