Link roundup

1. "Grocery Outlet, Supermarket Chain Where Oddball Products End Up." (Oddball products like Cleavage Creek wine.)

2. Relationship advice.

3. "Book Of 'Roadside Prostitutes' Made Entirely With Google Street View."

Link roundup

1. An explanation for why "illegal immigration is the best immigration."

2. "Jon Stewart is misleading stoned smart-alecks in dorm lounges across America about how things really work."

3. Jennifer Aniston recently bought an apartment in her dog's name.

Link roundup

1. The WSJ:

When Rabbi Naftali Marrus does his spring cleaning, he doesn't use a mop. He rolls with the Inferno.

The Inferno is a three-and-a-half-foot-long propane torch Rabbi Marrus uses during the critical days before Passover to scour commercial kitchens catering to observant Jews and obliterate the smallest particles of bread and other leavened foods, which are forbidden during the holiday that commemorates the Jews' flight from Egypt.

Maybe next April's art contest should be designing a logo for the rabbi and his Inferno? Via.

2. Digital subscriptions are for suckers:

Apparently, if you're a Kindle owner with a magazine subscription, and you decide to stop subscribing, the back issues you previously downloaded are also lost—for good.

3. Songwriter/music producer/former American Idol judge Kara DioGuardi has a new book to promote, in which she says that she was "date-raped by a well-known music producer" and "sexually harassed by a 'hugely successful artist.'" The article doesn't mention whether she took any steps to protect other women from the men.

Link roundup

1. Yahoo's reporting that Jamarcus Russell's life coach fired him.

2. TechCrunch reviews Nike's Nike+ SportWatch GPS. Doesn't sound like you get nearly enough value for $200. Probably makes more sense to buy an app, or the Nike+ Sport Band for a quarter of the price at Amazon.

3. "Look at This Fuckin Hipster Food Truck," the Tumblr. Sample post: "Look at this fuckin three-dollar sea salt." Via.

Workout equipment for little kids

Not an April Fool's Day prank - - treadmills, weights, and more for little kids:

It's not about vanity or unrealistic beauty standards. It's about your child's present and future health and well being. The fact is, childhood obesity levels have tripled in the past two decades, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Children who are significantly overweight are at higher risk for cardiovascular disease, high cholesterol and Type 2 diabetes and are more likely to become obese adults. Establishing a fitness routine early in life will help prevent current and future weight problems.

Available at Amazon.

It's all about picking gold coins up off the floor

Have you heard of algorithmic trading? Wikipedia explains:

In electronic financial markets, algorithmic trading or automated trading, also known as algo trading, black-box trading or robo trading, is the use of computer programs for entering trading orders with the computer algorithm deciding on aspects of the order such as the timing, price, or quantity of the order, or in many cases initiating the order without human intervention.

Speed is extremely important in such trading. The computer has to execute the trade at the right moment. "It's all about picking gold coins up off the floor - - only the fastest person is going to get the coins."

Spread Networks decided to stretch a fiber-cable between Chicago and New York to facilitate such trades, and since speed was the primary concern, the company spent (according to Forbes's estimate) $300 million to build the 825-mile route as straight as possible. Information travels 3 milliseconds quicker than the previous fastest route. Spread Networks built the line as quickly and quietly as possible to frustrate any competitors, and at one point had 125 construction crews working at the same time.

Misery, photographed

From a listing at eBay:

We are selling 8 Beyblades, 2 of them light up. As you can tell they are not happy about this! They have been using their bathtub as a "battle arena" and Beyblades + Bathtub = Destruction!!! With the metal ones they managed to scrape the enamel off the tub, take a chunk of tub out and break off the soap holder. SO if you "win" this auction DON'T play with in a bathtub!!! We have recieved a quote of $500.00 to replace the tub, some tiles, and soap holder + labor of course! They had approxamently $125.67 in their piggy banks that will be going to toward the cost. We will use the profit from this auction towards the balance and then it is onto other toys!

Via.

(I feel more inclined to hug the boys than pity the parents.)

Link roundup

1. Gawker says, "Miley Cyrus' Mom Had An Affair With Bret Michaels." (The photo of the two of them illustrates the uncanny valley problem, right?)

2. And the news about Demi Lovato is even sadder.

3. "FIFTH female officer at scandal-hit prison resigns after claims she 'had sex with an inmate.'" (It sounds like at least some of the women took advantage of extremely lax hiring standards to get jobs where their boyfriends were housed.) Via Fark which offered a better headline.

*Buy back issues of Tiger Beat at eBay.

Have you ever known anyone who was happy?

Particularly depressing Charlie Brown panel. Via.

*Buy Peanuts toys at Amazon.

A young boy gets his heart broken

Watch a poor boy fail in his efforts to dance with a young girl. Via.

Link roundup

1. Comment and win a sculpture.

2. Strange story of a girl with a protective mother - - the mom would take her to stay at the Disneyland hotel so she could see the rides (and the happy kids returning at the end of the day) but not actually go to the park. Via.

3. "Jose Cuervo Challenges Mexicans to Grow Bicentennial Mustaches." Via.

*Buy Disneyland posters at eBay.

Snow Peak Titanium Double Walled Cup (link roundup)

Snow Peak Titanium Double Walled Cup available at Amazon. Via.

And a few more links:

1. Google:

If you receive Microsoft® Word files as attachments in Gmail, you can now view them with a single click — no need to download, save, and open files with a desktop application when you just want read them. The Google Docs viewer that allows you to view .pdf, .ppt, and .tiff files in your browser now supports .doc and .docx formats too.

Just click the "View" link at the bottom of a Gmail message and the viewer will take it from there. If you decide you want to edit the file, clicking "Edit online" will open it in Google Docs, or you can download it to your desktop from there.

2. There's such an excess of attorneys now that Marin County in California wants District Attorneys to work for free, and the University of Michigan, a top ten law school, is encouraging graduates to work for a legal outsourcing company in India.

3. "California welfare recipients withdrew $1.8 million at casino ATMs over eight months." Via.

*Previously: The customers that really matter to casinos.

*Buy poker chips at eBay.

Blue Shell Christmas tree topper (link roundup)

Mario Kart Blue Shell Christmas tree ornament by Jaime Margary on sale at eBay.

And a few more links:

1. Penelope Trunk discusses her unraveling love life.

2. Check out transgenic prairie voles - - a rodent injected with a glowing jellyfish gene.

3. Anne Sweeney told her mom she didn't need a tv for her dorm room, what with Hulu and other options. But her mom is president of the Disney-ABC Television Group and responded, "You're going to have a television if I have to nail it to your wall."

*Previously: Glowing Dharma Initiative ping pong ball.

*Buy Hallmark Christmas ornaments at eBay.

Colorful stairs (link roundup)

Colorful stairs spotted here and originating somewhere at Style Files, which is a great source of interior design photos.

And a few more links:

1. A 33-year-old man died on the tv show Wipeout. Via.

2. Unfortunately-posed T-Rex skeletons.

3. Topless Robot wants a new logo and is holding a design contest.

*Previously: Woman falls down stairs in her attempt to run onto the field.

*Buy tin robots at eBay.

NYC Pasta (link roundup)

The Chrysler Building stars in this pasta design by Alex Creamer. More photos at the link.

And a few more links:

1. Metal Mario and Zero Suit Samus cosplay. Via.

2. "Total vacant land in Detroit now occupies an area almost the size of Boston." Via.

3. Amanda Visell is offering a special package to anyone who dresses as one of her characters for Halloween.

*Previously: Funny pasta ad.

*Buy Amanda Visell toys at eBay.

NYC Pasta (link roundup)

The Chrysler Building stars in this pasta design by Alex Creamer. More photos at the link.

And a few more links:

1. Metal Mario and Zero Suit Samus cosplay. Via.

2. "Total vacant land in Detroit now occupies an area almost the size of Boston." Via.

3. Amanda Visell is offering a special package to anyone who dresses as one of her characters for Halloween.

*Previously: Funny pasta ad.

*Buy Amanda Visell toys at eBay.

Keyboard Cat/Splinter Cell mashup (link roundup)

Keyboard Cat stars in the new teaser for Splinter Cell Conviction. Via.

And a few more links:

1. I previously noted that Disney was heavily advertising that the dragon Maleficent would be part of Fantasmic, even though the dragon was not working and was not actually part of the show. It's working now and you can see video here.

2. Bizarro shows it's tough being a praying mantis.

3. The Calvin & Hobbes strip where Calvin was put on Ritalin (warning, really depressing).

*Previously: Cheer yourself back up with this Calvin & Hobbes t-shirt.

*Buy Splinter Cell toys at eBay.

Suicidal Humpty Dumpty (link roundup)

The most depressing work of art I've seen since Gavin Turk's $30,000 "cardboard" box, suicidal Humpty Dumpty by Matt Dangler, who has art on sale at his site.

And a few more links:

1. Dead Space illustration by Tim Kelly.

2. Turn of the Century Occult Hero Punisher.

3. Photo of a storm approaching picturesque homes.

*Previously: Plush Humpty Dumpty.

*Buy Dead Space toys at Amazon.

Megan Fox as Catwoman desktop wallpaper (link roundup)

Megan Fox as Catwoman desktop wallpaper, made with an image found here.

And a few more links:

1. What do you do when your 6-year-old is schizophrenic:

"Is the Moban working?" her mother asks Jani during a visit.

"No. I have more friends."

Read on and feel way better about your life. You can read her father's blog about fighting Blue Shield for coverage, too.

2. Wired asked various designers to redesign Craigslist.

3. Funny post trying to figure out what Oprah's next book club pick will be.

*Previously: Catwoman Cosbaby.

*Buy Catwoman toys at eBay.

The wizarding world's Roomba (link roundup)

Meet the Broomba, which does move around, but unfortunately does not clean. On sale for $40 here. Via these fine sites.

And a few more links:

1. A shame, I've mentioned in the past how good Trent Reznor's Twitter feed was, but he opted to delete it because he was so repulsed by hateful replies he was getting.

2. And in other maybe you don't want to be popular online news, ESPN sideline reporter Erin Andrews who was largely famous for wearing tight tops, was somehow videotaped naked in her dressing room through the peephole. This NY Post article on the crime suggests that it may have happened on multiple occasions in multiple hotels and likely had to have been done by someone with knowledge and access to her rooms. The article also charmingly includes an Erin Andrews photo gallery. Outsports is exactly right in describing the way in which popular sports blogs have created an atmosphere encouraging such behavior.

3. I sure hope Zappos' excellent customer service rubs off on new owner Amazon.

4. For weeks, sports blogs have been talking about the claim that LeBron James got dunked on by a student at a basketball camp, and then had Nike goons seize video of the dunk. eBaum and TMZ have now both posted videos showing how trivial the play was and how incredibly foolish LeBron and Nike look for trying to suppress it.

*Previously: Make a broom-shaped pinata.

*Buy NBA bobbleheads at eBay.